Grumps

I'm very grumpy with Mr. Bean for not napping well today, and I don't feel very charitable, but I'll try to still tell you how cute he is. He's got yummy borscht all over his face in the picture above. Earlier in the week I was bemoaning the fact that he wouldn't put actual food in his mouth, but he had eagerly chewed on the following: stuffing and upholstery from a cat-shredded chair, hair, hay, lint, and a piece of a dried up cactus leaf. Finally at the end of this week he has been chewing on his teething biscuits, crackers, cheerios, and a few peas.

Zane has gotten very good at getting into cabinets and drawers, especially the ones with deadly chemicals or sharp objects in them. This weekend I managed to close off the three worst cupboards in the kitchen and make him his own cupboard of harmless stuff to play with. Big safe magnets are now at the bottom of the 'frige. The kitchen garbage has been lidded, and the finger-pinchy fireplace doors have been locked. Zane has learned to whine when he is thwarted, and this is now happening when he tries to open these very enticing cupboards. Hopefully his new wire maze toy will occupy his mind.

For months I have been looking forward to going to Folklife with Zane. He enjoys music and dancing at home, and the two times I have taken him to a live event he really loved it. I even bought him special noise-canceling headphones to protect his tender little ears. Huh. So much for what *I* want. I'm a Mom now and don't get to do what *I* want. Do you sense bitterness? It is there.

Yesterday Zane started off a little grumpy and snuffly, and did not nap well. After a super-abbreviated afternoon nap, I decided just to go to Folkife with him and hopefully we could have a fun brief visit and come home for a nap. I put him in his snazzy Hawaiian shirt for his first Zydeco dance. Zane perked right up when we went out and his first bus ride was a hit. He let out an exclamation when we passed over the Ballard bridge and looked at all the fishing boats down below. We'll have to go have a closer look at those. We got to Folklife, walked through the crowds, and found Laurie who wanted to dance with him. The Zydeco band hadn't started yet so we went to get an elephant ear. This whole time Zane was looking and absorbing. All of a sudden he burst into tears! He was just so tired, and it was all too much. He cried when Laurie tried to hold him, so I just stood outside where the music wasn't too loud (I forgot the headphones), and danced with Zane. He was quiet and blank faced and tired. I watched the music for an hour, and he eventually fell asleep. I took the bus home and figured we would try again tomorrow.

Today he woke up tired and clingy, and I think he might be fighting a cold. He had a really good 90 minute nap this morning so I felt encouraged, but that was it. Whine and cling and yawn all morning and afternoon. From 1:30-3:00 I worked on putting him to sleep, and he would fall asleep and wake up immediately over and over again. But he really needed to sleep and couldn't function as an awake baby. It exhausted and depressed me. Finally I gave up and lay on the floor of the bedroom and had a good bawl. And Zane laughed at me! Diabolical! Actually, he thought I was laughing, too, so I'm glad he didn't know I was bummed.

Michael came home and took Zane, and I have been hiding downstairs ever since. Apparently Zane has been sleeping for about 45 minutes now. I feel some catharsis, so I think it is safe for me to go upstairs and have tea.

And you know what? He is still really cute.